A Conversation Across Time: 10 Questions I Asked My 20 and 40-Year-Old Self for Self-Discovery
This was telling and fun
The other day, I was at the airport to receive someone. The flight was delayed by 2 hours. I went to a coffee shop and began scrolling through my Medium read list.
My attention was drawn to Debbie Walker’s post on Ten Questions to Get to Know Ya Better. As I scrolled through, a thought struck me. No one ever asked me these questions.
Since I had time, I thought of going through the list and answering it as my 20YO self and the 40+YO self. I felt like doing this just for kicks. How long will it take to answer 10 questions about me to myself?
Curiosity spilled over. Will it reveal something interesting?
Here’s what I found.
1. My Favorite Drink
20YO Me: Tea. Darjeeling and Assam tea. Hands down.
40YO Me: Tea, I guess. No, I think it’s coffee. I mean, it depends. If someone asks me, at this time, if I would like to have tea or coffee, I will be unsure what I want.
Nah! I don’t have any 1 favorite drink anymore. It’s too restricting. Why leave the chance to savor something different?
This took some effort to answer.
2. My Favorite Color
20YO Me: Black. I dislike experiments. Black makes it easy to dress up and be on the move. My wardrobe has 75 shades of black.
40YO Me: Off late, teal, lavender, mustard, and burgundy are some colors that have graced my wardrobe. Those who have known me for ages now mischievously quip if I am undergoing some color therapy. No, I am just trying not to be boring and predictable. My current favorite color is saffron.
I wanted to give up this question and move on to the next one. It was so confusing and stressful.
3. If you won the lottery, what 3 top things would you do first?
20YO Me: Buy a car. Buy a house. Invest in mutual funds.
40YO Me: Invest 50% in mutual funds, 30% in real estate, 10% in doing courses and skilling up, and give 5% each to my better half and the kid to do whatever they want.
This was the easier question.
4. Favorite Cuisine
20YO Me: Chinese. Chinese. Chinese.
40YO Me: I love Mediterranean cuisine and Thai a lot. Mughlai is equally appealing. I am not a foodie. Today, if I have to answer this question, it is East Bengali cuisine. I never enjoyed this cuisine growing up but have learned to appreciate it over the years and now absolutely love it.
5. Would you give up social media or your cellphone?
20YO Me: I don’t know what social media or cell phone is. If it is anything like the internet and telephone; then I will give up the telephone.
40YO Me: I cannot give up any of them. This is an honest answer. I need my LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and cellphone to learn continuously and remain productive.
It is telecom that has helped me dare to think of building a side hustle as a ghostwriter while managing two small-scale manufacturing businesses.
Nope. None of the above.
6. One thing I am really good at.
20YO Me: I was good at meticulous planning and getting things done. I worked best if I was left in control. I didn’t need supervision.
40YO Me: Lateral thinking for crisis management. I am the go-to person in our business to stand up and take charge of ANY emerging issues. I can keep my head calm even and take the immediate next steps instead of buckling and bawling.
This must be an age-based evolution because the chances of crisis increase as you age. When you are younger, life is reasonably predictable and relaxed. Or it seems so.
7. Dogs or Cats
20YO Me: Dogs. Definitely, dogs! The joy of my life, my pet Sparky. Dogs have this uncanny sense of what’s happening with you and snuggle up to make you feel better. I believe cats think they are entitled and meant to be served like royalty. I find them snooty and aloof.
40YO Me: Still dogs, but I don’t have the heart to bring home another pet. The loss and pain is terrible. I can smell and feel Sparky’s fur if I close my eyes and think. I miss Sparky to this day.
8. Coffee Drinker?
20YO Me: Never tried drinking coffee. Like ever. I never felt the appeal or inclination. The smell of coffee never moved me enough to try it.
40YO Me: Anytime!!! I can have plain black coffee, latte, or cappuccino at night. Thankfully, I have not had issues with my digestion or sleep after drinking coffee late at night.
My mother always points out that it will throw off your cycle if you have stimulants such as coffee or tea at night, but I beg to differ.
If you are intrinsically at peace with yourself, content with your life, and pursuing a passion project on the side that intellectually consumes your free moments, a stimulant is just a mug or cup of drink. It won’t mess with your life.
9. What language do you speak?
20YO Me: Bengali, Hindi, English, and some passable Gujarati.
40YO Me: Bengali, Hindi, English, Gujarati, and average Marathi.
India is a vast nation with 22 official languages spoken here. When you are in business, it matters if you communicate in the local language. The other person instantly warms up to you. Doors opened up when I interacted with customers in their language.
10. Can you use chopsticks?
20YO Me: Nope. Never tried. Didn’t find the need or the want or even the appeal.
40YO Me: Yes, I can! It’s a beautiful tool and particularly useful for a perimenopausal female like me. You ask how?
Well, in Indian homes, a common practice is to eat by hand. Eating is a complex system, according to Ayurveda. It is said that what time you eat or how you sit while eating affects your health.
Eating with our hands stimulates our minds even before the food has reached our mouths. Sometimes, the stimulation is such that you end up overeating.
Thankfully, when you eat with chopsticks, it is more distant, so you eat the right amount and not more.
Conclusion
Time flew while I was so engrossed in this list and a quiet experience of self-discovery. It was a fun session. At the same time, it showed how much I evolved with age and experience. Life changes us all in some way or another. Sometimes, in a good way, if you are intentional about it.
The surprising thing is some of the answers took me a fair amount of time to think and answer. Maybe because I never thought about them ever before.
What this says is as you grow older and your experience increases, you have two choices:
- To hold on to who you are (until a storm uproots you and it will)
- To soak in whatever life offers and open up to new ideas, things, and changes with an unreserved mind.
Either live one dull life or refine your mindset. Transform and live many different lives in one lifetime.
You can try it the next time you travel or while waiting at the doctor’s office for your regular health check-up. It can be entertaining and enlightening if you do it with a handful of friends on an evening out. Have fun!
Ipshita Guha is an ambivert. She aspires to be a ghostwriter for solopreneurs, SMB owners, C-suite, and corporate executives. She hopes to vicariously live the second half of her life through those exciting lives. She also writes about Refining Mindset and other stuff on Medium, LinkedIn, Twitter, and her website.
